The Monster Father

I did it.

I exploded.

It was a major explosion. I don't remember shouting so loud for a long, long time. Maybe it's the hardest I ever bellowed.

To a point, my heart told me to stop. Not the emotional kind of telling me to stop, but the physical kind, warning me that if I didn't stop, it will.

It was my son. Over much about nothing. It was during a time when he was sleepy and cranky, a wrong time to test his boundaries.

He asked for an orange and demanded me to feed him while his hands hung loose beside him. I was waiting for him to say the right things and make it more acceptable for me to feed him on request, but after a long while of asking in different ways, by me and then my wife, the requests became demands, then screaming for me to stop and whacking me in angst.

I will spare you more heart-wrenching details.

Then, the explosion, and Noah was stunned into silence.

The effort required for him to blurt out the words, "I am sorry, I will stop!" It nearly took a cardiac arrest.

Noah, if you get to read this, Daddy is sorry.

Daddy became a monster, and I hope I never need to become one again.

Nonetheless, I want you to remember that night.

Because, I am your friend, the person who spends almost every minute of your off-school hours with you. I am your guardian, your chef, your shower buddy, your biggest fan, your teacher, your playmate, your bolster at night.

I am the only man who loved you before you were born till forevermore.

Picture credit: One Eye Click

But first and foremost, and I want you never to forget.

I am your father.